just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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