Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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