im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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