She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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