wanna go halves on a baby?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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