We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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