I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
