Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
