Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
