There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
