Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
