Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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