capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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