Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
