Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
