I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
