The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
