first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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