you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
