when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
