Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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