I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Bring me that man meat
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
