I have demons in me.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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