dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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