So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
