I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
