In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
