My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
