New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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