Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
