i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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