So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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