yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
