do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
