Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
