i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
