I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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