So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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