I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
