i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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