I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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