Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
