absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
