My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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