love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
