I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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