Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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