So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
