what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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