you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
