sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
